Killing hotmail

It’s got to be done. It feels like drowning a faithful old dog though. The poor old thing’s so sick I’m suffering from the fleas myself just by being around him. He still has some joy in life but he’s just limping on smiling at past the memory of past romps.

So I’m killing my hotmail account. This isn’t like my once-announced-instantly-retracted wish to commit Facebook suicide (feeling miffed that my FB profile has more friends than I do), this is a sad, reluctant but inevitable acceptance of the fact that I would now never, ever, ever give my hotmail address to anyone I didn’t think was a spammer.

It’s not just that if I used it for real mail I’d never find my mail among the crap, although that’s a part of it.  It’s not just that I end up reading the spam just to laugh at its Ricky Gervais embarrassing pathos, although that’s part of it.  It’s also because of, I admit it – what other people think.  I can see it in their eyes.  Poor soul.  I wonder if she’s got a colour screen or still one of those green and black ones.  Must be difficult not being able to upgrade and so on with no DVD drive.  Or can you get Windows on 3 1/2″ floppies?  Who knows, maybe she’s happy just running DOS. If I don’t move on I’ll be classed as a techmoron by my peers until computers progress so far that it’ll really be the same as writing on a book with a pen. Or standing in your living room playing air guitar, or singing into a hairbrush.  Sorry, not hairbrush, specially designed computer microphone.  The difference is obvious.

So this is the age we’re in.  I’m judged by the email account I signed up for in 1998, on a Gateway computer with a 2x CD drive and an AOL dial-up connection to the interthing, where you could, um, send a letter without going to the post office. Or you could waste hours talking crap to people you didn’t know and never would, panicking to reply in time before the moment was gone lest the strangers think you were a newbie. And now none of us can work without it all.  And, if I’m honest, I love it, I’m not a tech geek but I’ve loved it all since the Sinclair Spectrum +2 took up my weekends with inputting miles of commands to make a pixel wobble for 30 seconds and then stop again.  That kind of retro is cool, but mailing “Sarah’s sexy new pics” or “CHEAP V1AgR_A” to everyone who’s ever written to you isn’t.  It’s got to go.  There will be a mail to everyone to let them know that if they’re got more than one mail for me, then hotmail is not the one I’m using.  Please don’t be offended: this time it doesn’t mean I think you’re a spammer.


About alexandraengland

3 responses to “Killing hotmail

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